9 Reasons The Day After My Breakup Was a Good Day

In November last year I went to Costa Rica to see a guy I'd been dating for three months long distance. Everything had seemed so perfect--I'd met him at an all-inclusive resort while vacationing there a few years back, and we'd reconnected in the summer of 2017, and were having a blast texting, voice messaging, and talking on the phone. Armando started swearing his undying love to me by the end of September, and I booked a trip for my Thanksgiving break to go see him.

Okay, so you know from the title of this post what happened. When I arrived, he was completely the opposite of how he was when I met him. He acted super awkward, seemed distracted and shy, and to be honest, very bored with me. When we went to lunch, he was listless and unsmiling, had zero input into any conversations I tried to start, and mostly played on his phone at the table. That afternoon his only "plans" for us (after having suggested umpteen jillion wonderful sightseeing trips and activities to me while I was booking my flight and hotel a few weeks earlier) was to go back to my hotel room and watch a movie on TV.

I was pretty sure he'd met someone else between the time I booked my trip and before I arrived. In any case, there had been a major loss of interest on his side, and a major feeling of stupidity and vanity on mine.

I felt disappointed and sad, but most of all, embarrassed. I knew I had walked into this of my own accord and that I hadn't used my better judgment. I told him the relationship just wasn't going to work out, and he agreed and left.

I had one more day in the little beach town I was staying in, and going to bed that night, I dreaded it. I was alone, had no specific plans or things to do, and honestly didn't want to spend one more dime on sightseeing or entertainment, paying for my humiliating dating debacle.

So I coached myself before I went to sleep: Ok, Kerra, all your friends are waiting to see pics and hear how it's going in Costa Rica with Armando. Tomorrow, your only job is to make it look like you're having a good time here on social media so they don't worry.

So that is what I did. I got up the next morning, dressed in comfy clothes, a cap, and a small backpack, and went in search of photo ops. The beach was literally right across the street from my hotel, something I hadn't noticed the day before for some reason. The only money I spent that day was on lunch, and came back to my hotel that night loaded up with cool images of the sand, the palms, the colorful shops, cabanas, tropical flowers, my delicious lunch, me smiling and looking as though my heart was completely fine.

By the time I settled down for bed that night, my heart was fine, and I had to admit that I had truly, miraculously, enjoyed myself. So I wrote down this list on the back of my travel itinerary printout:

Why Today Was a Good Day

1. I gave myself an attainable goal, one that got me up and moving.
2. I didn't try to "perfect" my appearance, or my day, or my life.
3. I accepted myself with my flaws. I was humble.
4. I was open and loving to the people I came across.
5. I lived in the moment and embraced life as it came. I was in a state of surrender.
6. There was balance between what I planned to do (my goals for the day) and just enjoying the moment.
7. I trusted God. I had no other friend or fallback.
8. I did artistic, creative activities...searching for beauty and photographing it, making short videos, writing good social media posts.
9. I ate good, healthy food--the vegetable paella-type dish for lunch and a huge bowl of raw veggies and nuts for dinner.

By the time I boarded my flight home the next morning, though I still had some remaining vestiges of feeling like a fool, overall I was basically at peace and in a state of self-compassion.

Life certainly does not have to be perfect in order to be good. And we all make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them. By those mistakes, we grow stronger and wiser every day. :)

My Basic, Easy Vegetable Soup Recipe

So delicious, even with less-than-awesome ingredients

Yesterday I was craving vegetable soup, as I often do because I make it soooo well, but I didn't want to buy any groceries because I'm moving out of state in five days. So I threw together the below concoction, and it was unbelievably delicious. So go make some soup! Cooking it and eating it are two of my very favorite Soul-Healing Activities.

The Veggie Soup I Made Yesterday Using What I Had On Hand

1 TBS olive oil

1 minced garlic clove

1 TBS of chopped celery I picked off the salad I bulk-prepped a few days ago

4-6 cups water

1 cube "Rapunzel" veggie bouillon

1 TBS Better Than Bouillon Vegetable Base

1/2 tsp onion powder

6 cups big carrot chunks

2 cups small rutabaga chunks

1 TBS dried parsley

1 tsp dried thyme

1/2 cup freezer burned green peas

1 can (drained) green beans

1/4 tsp Himalayan sea salt

Saute the garlic and celery bits for about 30 seconds to one minute, until the garlic is browned. Add water and veggie bouillon(s) and bring to a boil while you peel and chop the carrot and rutabaga. Add these vegetables to the pot, stir, and boil gently until very soft, 25-35 minutes. As they boil you can go ahead and add the dried spices (parsley, thyme, and onion powder) and start enjoying that aroma.

When the carrot and rutabaga are perfectly soft and delicious, add the frozen peas and boil them until they look green and nice and not so white with freezer burn.

Last, add the green beans and let them warm up in the soup for five minutes or less so they don't get even more mushy than they already are, then add salt to taste. I put 1/4 tsp yesterday and that was perfect for me.

Note: normally I would never try to make soup without chopped onion and celery to saute in with the garlic, and I would saute those for a good 5-10 minutes to get some caramelization on them before adding the water and bouillon base. So I compensated for the lack of onion and celery by picking off what little bits of celery I could from the salad, doing two types of veg bouillon and adding the onion powder. I was pleased it turned out so great. I might do it this way more often because it was really easy and a lot less chopping.

The Healthiest Sunday

This is my Sunday morning spot.

If you had a rough week, overindulged in food and drink Friday and/or Saturday, and underindulged in exercise and water, what you need before Monday morning is a healthy Sunday.

You need this blog post. :)

Morning

6:00am - Wake up, put on comfy loungewear you can do yoga in

6:10am - Drink a 12oz glass of filtered water

6:15am - Do a 15-minute yoga routine (you can find these on YouTube,) rubbing essential oils on the soles of your feet and inhaling them (my morning yoga faves, in the order I rub and inhale them: 1) Wyndmere Self Confidence, 2) Gurunanda Peppermint, 3) Young Living Aroma Siez, 4) Young Living En-R-Gee, and 5) Young Living Dragon Time)

6:40 - Take vitamins with another 12oz glass of water + green drink while brewing a cup of Mate Mint tea (one tea bag of each; sub green tea for mate if desired. I like 1/8 tsp stevia powder in mine.) Unload dishwasher/straighten up the kitchen while the tea steeps.

7:00 - Sit in a peaceful, happy, comfortable spot to sip tea and write in prayer journal. Answer these questions:

• What am I grateful for this week?
• What has been a challenge or struggle?
• What small adjustments can I make to have a great week starting tomorrow?
• What do I and my loved ones need this week? (write out your petitions/pray)

8:00 - Drink a protein + nutrition shake (I love Raw Fit Weightloss in French Vanilla with unsweetened Silk Almond Coconut milk)

8:30 - Grab another glass of water to take with you and work on a creative project, but not in a hurry. Just enjoy the moment and let it be a slow, easy morning of creativity and productivity. If you get sleepy, don't have any more caffeine. Cuddle up under a warm afghan and take a nap. Your body needs it.

Afternoon

12:00 - Make a pot of vegetable soup. Cooking vegetable soup is nourishing to the soul. Again, no rush; enjoy the process of chopping the vegetables, stirring them into your boiling broth, and inhaling the wonderful aromas as they cook down to caramelly softness. Eat the soup without distractions, savoring each bite. Save the leftovers for Monday lunch.

1:30 - Drink another glass of water, then do something active around the house for an hour - clean, organize, or complete a project that doesn't involve sitting.

2:30 - Nap again if you're sleepy, or just make another cup of herbal tea and read for awhile. I recommend staying off social media as much as you can until later tonight to give your eyes, mind, and body a break from it. Do something relaxing and low-key instead.

3:00 - Glass of water #5

3:30 - Healthy snack if you're hungry. My choice today: Chickpea wrap with cashew cheese spread, greens, and chopped raw vegetables (red bell pepper, celery, green onion, radish, and shredded carrot. This is actually from a salad that I bulk-prepare every week and keep in the fridge in a big bowl, so today I don't have to chop any of that.)

4:00 - More relaxation/free time

4:30 - Glass of water #6

Evening

5:00 - Make a healthy dinner. My choice tonight: Salad with Lemon-Oil dressing, and Cumin-Roasted Beets, Carrots, and Radish with Tahini-Dill dressing, then some sweet snack--might try making a cookie of some sort out of quinoa flour I need to use.

6:30 - Go brush your teeth so you won't keep eating (if you're watching your weight like I am) and then come back to clean the kitchen. (For me being in the kitchen = temptation to nibble, so I have to go brush my teeth immediately after dinner.)

7:00 - Glass of water #7

7:15 - Evening "5-minute" workout (Tai Chi with a YouTube video, Zumba with a YouTube video, floor exercises like leg lifts and crunches, or just put on some fun music like Gangnam Style or Cake By the Ocean and do some living room dancing.) Commit to five minutes, then go longer if you feel like it.

8:00 - Glass of water #8 with evening vitamins and supplements, then hot shower or bath in Epsom Salts

8:30 - Slather on some nice moisturizers and lotions, make a cup of Natural Calm tea, and cozy up on the couch to play on Social Media, text a friend or romantic interest, read, or watch some YouTube.

9:30 - Get off the phone/laptop/other device so your mind and body can wind down for bed. Plan your week in a planner or just make your own grid, read, then hit the hay.

10:15 - Lights out.

My daily planner, available now on Amazon!