We like to sleep in, steam vegetables and eat them with diced avocado, talk about hair and makeup, try each other's new supplements, and play on Pinterest together finding new inspirations in hair, clothes, makeup, and decor. Shelly is extremely gifted at home remodeling, design, and decorating, better than some who've been formally trained, so we always spend some time talking about home stuff, window shopping the many places in her area that sell farmhouse-style decor, and sometimes making small, thoughtful purchases. She and I both try to be very frugal with our money, and it's nice to shop with someone who isn't badgering me to spend, spend, spend. We take pleasure in just looking.
In many ways, I am already very much like my Aunt. People think we look alike and have similar mannerisms, which is a huge compliment because she's beautiful. We have very similar interests, hangups, obsessions, goals, and personalities. But this week when I got back home, I noticed with some frustration how different life is for me when I'm in my own routing as opposed to my times at Shelly's house. I always have way more energy when I'm there. I tend to drop a little weight and feel lighter in my clothes. Life seems freer, healthier, easier, and more enjoyable.
So what gives? I asked myself as I was doing some journaling yesterday morning. I eat very healthy here at home, I play on Pinterest, I relax and drink tea.
Then I asked myself, what do I do differently when I'm staying with Shelly?
Answer: I fall into Shelly's vibe.
Okay, so what is her vibe? What does she do differently in her daily life?
To be fair to myself, Shelly is retired and doesn't have a full time job. But still, aren't there some lessons I could learn from my aunt, some habits and ways of being that I could incorporate into my life here in the city? I decided to examine her life objectively, like a researcher or scientist, and make a list.
What Shelly Does
- Shelly rests when she's tired or doesn't feel good. And she doesn't feel guilty about it. What a concept.
- Shelly eats to live rather than lives to eat, and doesn't spend a ton of time in the kitchen cooking. She refuses to peel anything (steams sweet potatoes in their skins in her electric rice cooker/steamer) and hardly touches the stove.
- Shelly buys and eats whole foods, simple, low maintenance stuff. Steamable vegetables (and I've learned from her that almost all veggies are good steamed,) avocados, lemons, greens, bags of raw walnuts and pecans. (She isn't vegan so she does eat lean meats and goat cheese.)
- Shelly never leaves her bedroom looking like a 90-year-old homeless person. Her pajamas, lounge wear, etc. all look to be in good condition, clean, and cute on her. She does at least something decent with her hair and never has mascara smudges under her eyes when she emerges to meet me in kitchen for morning tea and talking.
- Shelly takes time to just relax and be in the moment, every day. She creates art, reads, watches home decor shows, plays on Pinterest. And she doesn't feel guilty about it.
- Shelly exercises a little each day and only when she has energy for it.
What I Do
- Push myself constantly, feel guilty for resting or staying in bed too much.
- Cook constantly and almost obsessively, hoard and waste fancy food, eat too much and too often.
- Go around my apartment feeling bloated, haggard, unattractive, face unwashed, hair in a dumb-looking topknot, makeup smudges under my eyes, wearing old pajamas and comfy clothes that don't match and look like I got them from the pile of rejects in the back alley of a thrift store. If there were a man in my life, he'd run screaming the first time he saw me in the morning.
- Feel guilty for doing anything "lazy" or "fun" for very long. Don't fully enjoy my lazy, fun moments when I do allow them. Get burned out and dread my responsibilities and obligations.
- Berate myself for avoiding strenuous exercise, even when I truly don't have the energy for it.
- Make everything way too complicated and difficult.
- Waste time hating on certain aspects of my life rather than focusing on what I DO like and doing THAT.
- Don't recognize and accept my limitations. Don't recognize and capitalize on my strengths.
- Don't work with my natural daily rhythms rather than fighting them constantly, trying to force progress toward my goals.
So, Hmm.
Starting today, when I got up, I put on pajamas that actually look decent on me.
I put my hair up in an attractive clip, similar to a hairdo I saw in a country music video, and pulled out some curls to frame my face.
I cleaned the mascara out from under my eyes with makeup remover.
I took all my supplements at leisure rather than rushing around and piddled around in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher.
I cut up a yam (and peeled it, okay? Some habits die hard) and started it steaming for breakfast.
And then I just sat here in front of my fireplace and started writing this blog post, because I love writing.
The Big Takeaway...
Find a person whose lifestyle you aspire to, and take note. What do they do differently from you? Is there anything you have in common already? And how can you incorporate new habits into the life you're living now, to work toward living the life you truly want to live?
